There have been many changes in the roles of the sexes over the past 60 years. As a result, the expectation of men and the standard we are held to has morphed a little. But one thing is for sure: There are certain traits that define masculinity that most men and women would still agree upon.
This isn't a question of backwards thinking or outdated sensibilities. This is the type of stuff that points to the fundamental characteristics that most men still hold dear. Strength, reliability and action are all still core parts of what makes a man a man's man. This doesn't mean that you're failing if you aren't achieving some of these aspects, but rather they're goals to keep in mind as you forge through your quest to become a better man/human being.
Any way you slice it, men are still going to compete in all aspects of life -- and you need to be ready for what gets thrown your way.
FOR ONE THING:
When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can't keep a promise, he doesn't give his word. A man would rather face severe consequences than break his word. Every man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and that they must be taken at face value.
NO GOSSIP: Nobody should gossip. But a man trying to win respect at work or among friends in his circle will not be respected if he develops a reputation for being the group's hotline of nonsense. The images of the strong, silent type -- a la Clint Eastwood and John Wayne -- still resonate today...because gossip is for people with nothing better to do.
A REAL MAN'S EYES NEVER WANDER: Faithfulness, loyalty, and keeping one's commitments to his mate is the hallmark of a real man. Hetero or homo, irregardless of orientation, a relationship demands of both partners absolute devotion, and nothing detracts from being seen as a real man (or a human one) like being seen as a philanderer, a wanderer. Not one to be trusted with things of the heart or anything else. Once a man takes the vows of marriage, they are the cornerstone of and the guide for the rest of his life.
Kindness, caring, affection, and being loving are also the marks of a real man, not the macho bullshit often masquerading as such. A REAL man KNOWS who he is, and as such is NOT AFRAID to be tender, gentle, and caring. Only an emotionally crippled jerk would ever shirk that aspect of a relationship. He must give ALL HE IS and ALL HE HAS to his mate, and never retreat to the cave-man like mentality that often tries to keep men as beasts and not loving humans.
One thing I have found to be true irregardless of orientation or anything else. The minute a man settles into himself and gets comfortable with who he is, he stays true to that no matter what, and if he is straight gay men don't bother him for he is who he is and he knows it. The same with gay men. All the taunts and homophobic bullshit can inflict a bit of pain to be sure but will NEVER cause a real man to deviate from the certainty that he is who he is and to bad for those who don't like it.
One of the saddest things in life is to watch a dude trying SOOO HARD to be straight and not quite making it and visibly ill at ease and down deep knowing he is miserable and in real pain.
That is why homophobia is SO toxic and SO totally indefensible. If you aren't gay fine. But do NOT place yourself as judge and jury over those who are cause God STILL IS GOD, and honey...YOU AIN'T and NEVER WILL BE. So stop trying to be cause that never works out well in the end.
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